Pleasure Cruise
Plot Cruisin' and boozin' on the open ocean, Red and Blue must act fast before someone drops a bomb on the poop deck. Transcript (A cruise ship is sailing in the ocean with a yacht in front of it. The yacht is crushed under the boat and screams are heard.) Red: Man, this is great! The sun in our face, the wind in our caps, the barf in our throats... Blue: (seasick) Don't remind me... (Throws up over the side.) (A peach woman with a flower in her hair and wearing a hula skirt walks up to Red and Blue.) Woman: Moooore pina colada, sir? Red: Hell, yeah! (He drinks the pina colada while Blue continues the throw up over the side.) Blue: (looking up suddenly) ''Oooh, that one tasted tropical. (Time lapse. Blue plays shuffleboard while Red slides past him on a puck. The Pina Colada song begins to play.) Song: I'm drunk off pina coladas ~ ''(Blue is attempting to wrestle with a clam while Red is fighting with an octopus. Red decides to just stab the octopus with a fork.) Sailing out on the bay ~ (Red is sitting in a hot tub with a purple woman. Red farts and the bubbles reach the surface and pop.) Red: Ooh! I farted! (Red starts to make out with the purple woman, and a pink woman surfaces for air and coughs, disgusted.. Blue is crying while applying suntan lotion to an elderly woman's back. The Pina Colada song continues to play in the background.) Old woman: (somewhat pissed) Take the bra off! (Time lapse. Red and Blue are at a bar while a dark green French man wearing a beret and holding a file sits elsewhere, watching them. A file he has contains the pictures of Red and Blue and their codenames. Blue is "Blue Whale" and Red is "Crimson Tide" Both their files have ULTRACONFIDENTIEL on them.) Red: Dude! Floaty hotels are the BEST! Blue: (drunk, or seasick) ''Ugh, this is the ''worst. French man: Pardon moi. Red: Who you is? French man: My name is Bond. Jacques Bond. I'm an agent of the French Secret Service Global Anti-Terrorism Unit. Blue: Wait, whaaat? Jacques: We have intelligence that indicates a terrorist cell has plans to destroy this ship! Every single agent in the world has gathered on this voyage to help apprehend these criminals. Yellow Mexican: Mi nombres Baha. Juan Baha. Chinese Man: Ba. Shi Ba. Bartender from Chug-A-Chug-A-Brew-Brew: Lowe. Jimmy Lowe. Orange Italian: My name's a Bete, a-Gelato a-Bete. But I'm a-not a secret agent, I'm a-just Italiano, eh? Jacques: Quickly. There isn't much time. (Red, Blue, and Jacques are in what appears to be a dark engine room.) Jacques: Do yeu see anything? Blue: Ummm. Nope! Red: Nothing here! (scene zooms out to reveal a huge nuke.) ''UHP! Nope. Wait. There's a nuke bomb. Jacques: ''(gasps) Sacre bleu! (A gray man wearing a bowler and a bowtie walks out of the shadows holding a gun.) Gray man: Uwaaaah-hah-hah-hah-hah! Jacques: Yeu! Gray man: Yes! It is I. Butler. Jerold Butler! Earl Grey's last surviving minion, and I'm afraid old friend, that you're ALL going to die! Red & Blue: Shiiiit! Jacques: Yeu'll never get away with this, Jerold Butler! My fellow agents Crimson Tide and Blue Whale will surely stop yeu! (Zoom out to reveal no fellow agents.) Jacques: Le shit. Red: Later, sucka! (Red pulls a lever.) (A huge crate falls on top of Jerold, killing him and leaving a messy bloody stain on the floor.) Blue: Oh, snap, Jerold Butler's dead. Jacques: Tres bien, momemi, you've saved the entire ship! Blue: Yeah, what about that bomb? (The bomb explodes, blowing the ship in half and throwing Red and Blue into the water. As the ship sinks Titanic-style, people are seen slipping down the deck and a few attempt to cling onto things. Shi Ba is holding onto a ledge.) Shi Ba: Oh no, oh no, I'm losing my grip! Nooooooooooooooohooooooooo! (Shi Ba loses his grip and falls into the water. On the way down, he hits one of the ship's fan blades. It makes a Chinese gong sound.) (The ship has almost fully sunk and the name is visible: "The HMS Tragedy" and right under it "formerly HMS Iceberg Magnet". Red and Blue are holding onto a floating ship door.) Blue: HMS Tragedy?! We should have knoooown! Red: (''a bit late) We should have knoooown! Stella: (out of scene) Ooohohoh, oh Tedward! ''(Tedward and Stella drift into scene, clinging onto a piece of driftwood.) Tedward: (now in-scene) Oh, Stella. Stella: We're gonna die out here, aren't we? Tedward: Our love, can never die, which means we can never die. Stella: I'm so coooold, but you're so hot. Tedward: Hold on, to my muscles. Stella: I'll never let goooo! Tedward & Stella: Aaaah! (The driftwood Tedward and Stella are holding onto sinks. After a few seconds, a frozen ice cube of Tedward and Stella french kissing rises out of the water while they are making kissing sounds. Beatific music plays momentarily.) Red: Dude, you wanna get a hot dog? Blue: What? What?! Where the hell are we gonna get a hot dog?! Look where we are! We're in the middle of the goddamn oce-- Oh, wait. (The scene zooms out to reveal a hot dog stand on a beach just to the left of them. Red and Blue get out of the water and walk to the hotdog stand.) Red: Hey! Uh. Can I just get a hot dog? Uh. Two hot dogs please? Hotdog Vendor: That'll be five dollars. (He gives them the hot dogs.) Red: Siiiiiiiiiiick. (Red hands one of the hot dogs to Blue.) '' Hotdog Vendor: Have a nice day. ''(Red and Blue exit the scene, Red doing a cartwheel, Blue just normally walking. The Pina Colada song begins to play again.) ''-Episode ends-'' I'm drunk on pina coladas, Sailin' out of the bay. Never had a mixed drink, Made me feel quite so gay. If you're into the Dark Knight, You probably like my cocaine. If you're not into Batman, You probably have half a brain. Trivia * This marks the second appearance of Fang Angels characters, Stella and Tedward. Apparently, despite the fact they characters from a fictional book and movie, they are real. * A lot of fans happen to mistaken the pink woman who was disgusted by Red's fart in the hot tub to be Pink, Blue's girlfriend. However, that pink woman had a slightly darker shade of pink (possibly salmon pink) and she had hair bangs, unlike Pink, so it can't possibly be her. * The song used in this episode is a parody of Rupert Holmes' "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)". * It's possible that the old lady that Blue was putting lotion on was Mrs. Dingleberry. * The picture of Red with sunglasses looks like him in his Terminater costume in Terminate-Her! * The ship has a close resemblance to the Titanic. * The scene with the guy slipping and the way the ship split in half was similar to The Titanic. * In Captain Red Rum & The Pina Colada Armada, it is said by Blue that Red gets seasick all the time (or sneezing as Red calls it), but in this episode, Red doesn't vomit at all while on the ship. Instead it it Blue who gets seasick. * To some fans surprise, a day after this episode aired, a cruise ship in Italy called the Costa Concordia sank. Recurring Gags Auto-Tune Use *None Red Floating *When Red is asked if he wants a pina colada, he floats in the air while pointing at one. *When Red pulls the lever to kill Jerold Butler, he floats in the air again while he slams it. *After Red buys a hotdog he does a floating cartwheel. Episode Ending *The "I"s in DICK FIGURES are replaced by a red and blue sailboat. The Pina Colada song also continues to play well after the end of the actual episode itself. The Last Line Being Cut *None Video thumb|300px|right Category:Season 3 Category:Episodes